We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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