How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
