4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
