in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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