my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
