a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
