Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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