you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
