Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
