Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
