and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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