But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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