I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
