you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
