ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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