just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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