she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am available for nakedness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
