Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
