It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
