Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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