Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
