Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
