Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
