Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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