David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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