Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
