i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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