when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
