your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
