Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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