Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
