gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
