Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
