Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
