no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
