I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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