The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
