Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
