I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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