you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
