I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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