He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
