Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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