ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
porn star boner night. come get it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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