I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
