Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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