escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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