arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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