she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
