i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
