Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
