Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
